Home Parent Resources LIVING WITH A GIFTED CHILD Following is a list of tips for parents of gifted children: Create open communication that is available from birth on. Set aside a special time for each child to have you to him/herself, to be interested in him/her alone, to be listened to nonjudgmentally, to share ideas. Don't wait for problems or decision-making times. Each day (bedtime is good) provide 20-30 minutes or more of uninterrupted, focused time for your child. You might also consider trying Family Council. Do what you like doing and include your child, as well as doing things in which the child is interested. Permit the children their own individuality, and enjoy them for who they are, not what you would like them to be. Respect your child and allow the child as much dignity as you would a special friend. Allow your children to make lots of decisions, and consult them on issues affecting them whenever you believe they can understand the consequences. Don't confuse the IQ with the child; the child is much more. Help the child understand and deal with his/her belonging and conformity needs. Often, especially for girls, the pressure is very great; they must feel it's really all right to be different. Help children with their need for perfectionism and what that does to their self-image. Serve as an example of how hard it is to accept your own mistakes, and show them how you keep trying. Let them feel your acceptance of them as people. Help them set realistic standards and do not hold everyone up to them. Arrange back-to-nature times and quiet together and apart times; value reflection and daydreaming. This is where creative thinking begins. Help your child set time and energy priorities. Too often the world is so exciting for these children that they seem to need to do everything at once. Help them appreciate individual differences, both in themselves and in others. Instruct by your actions more than by your words. If you want your child to be an avid reader or creative problem solver, for instance, you will need to be one. Don't forget that you are their first and most influential teacher and hero. Don't insist that every project have closure before other things can happen. Often, what the child wanted or needed to learn from an experience occurs before the project is finished. Sometimes other fascinating areas just have to be explored before the project can be finished properly. Otherwise, you may end up with a few finished projects and a turned-off child. Be careful about supporting teachers when they insist on counter-productive activities for your child (e.g., homework assignment of 50 problems all on a concept that your child mastered two years ago; forcing your child to tutor other children on a regular basis, as in cooperative learning groups, etc.) Plan a conference with the teacher or principal. There is little value in obedience at any cost. On the other hand, a master teacher is the best ally you have for ensuring the optimal development of your gifted child. Take advantage of the experience and knowledge your child's teacher may have about him/her and his/her special needs in the learning environment. Provide a safe place. At times, your child will find being different very difficult. Neither the teacher nor the child's friends will always understand, and your child will need a place where it is safe to be who he/she is. Top of Page Home Plattsburgh State University Website by Dr. Karen Agne & David Driver 101 Broad Street, Plattsburgh, NY 12901 Phone: (518) 564-5136 Send comments to: Dr. Karen Agne Last Updated: September 18, 2006